Ah Man Blog

Staying Present and In Our Hearts During the Upcoming Holidays

Coming from our hearts and being present during the holidays sounds real good, but how do we walk the talk?

A major part of it all begins with accepting that all we have (i.e., our homes, jobs, loved ones, etc.) and who we really are (i.e., children of God/Source) is enough.  Those who we love and want us in their lives accept us just as we are, rather than what we want to be or want to look like.

It also helps to have boundaries and to be aware our own mental and physical limitations. 

A way to check in on making boundaries for ourselves and others is to check in with someone else, such as your partner if they are supportive in helping you come more from your heart, or maybe a good friend who is on a path similar to your own.  Talk to them about your plans and expectations before you jump into the fray of holiday activities.

Staying present will look like this: if you’re cooking, then that’s all you’re doing.  Focus on what you’re preparing and what it takes to do just that particular thing, rather than on multi-tasking.  Of course, we all have to multi-task at times, but that is not being present and I guarantee that when you multi-task, you are not in your heart, but in your head.

When we try to do more then what we can do, or maybe I should say when we do more then we can handle, that’s when we get angry, frustrated and/or even depressed.  By the time we reach that point, we are already disconnected from our heart and are usually in pain and, maybe, even causing pain to others in some way.

I don’t know anybody who takes pleasure being in this state.  So if this happens, it’s time to stop and look back to the point at which you started to put yourself out of balance.  More times than not, we know exactly when it was.  In fact, we did have some sort of “warning,” but just pushed it aside and did what we “thought” we wanted or thought we had to do.

Be kind to yourself and others.  Apologize to those you might have overreacted to, especially yourself.  Forgive, learn, and move forward.  It’s all part of the journey.

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Meditating in the Presence and in the Present

Meditating in the "Presence" is best done early in the morning.  Try to do it before you start your day; before your mind goes into the full swing of your day's schedule.  Find a place where you can focus without distractions.  Sit or lay, or find the position that is most comfortable, and do your meditation.  Even if it's only for three minutes, do it.  As the time you spend meditating increases, you'll find that you are practicing the "Presence" throughout the day.

While meditating, I enjoy listening to a chant (prayers and names of God).  Then I go into the silence (the chanting has stopped) and I focus on the secret chamber behind my heart where I experience Her/Him.  That experience comes in different forms at different times.  Most of the time, I experience a very deep presence of peace.  This peace is God allowing Herself to be felt by myself and higher Self.

Practice the "Present" as much as you can during your day.  If you find your mind wandering while in a conversation with someone, gently bring your focus back to what that person is talking about.  While walking to the train station, focus on the walking meditation I discussed a few weeks ago.  Apply that same focus to everything you do.  As you're going about your business during the day, focus on the things that bring you happiness, and acknowledge the things that you're grateful to have in your life.

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The Importance of Daily Meditation

If we want to experience peace in our everyday lives, it is crucial to practice meditation on a daily basis.  I know that's a forceful statement, but it is the truth.

Starting your day without a few minutes (or however much time you can dedicate) of meditation is like a carpenter going to work without his tools.  Just imagine all the difficulties that carpenter will have throughout his day because he forgot his tools.

As I discussed last week, meditating in the "Present" will bring about gratitude.  This attribute is very important.  A familiar saying when someone is complaining, whining, etc., is "Put a little gratitude in your attitude."  You can view the cup as half full or half empty; the choice is yours.

I'm not saying that you will never have anything to complain about.  In fact, it will be necessary to complain at times.  Those of us who are parents know quite well that there are times we need to complain to - or about - our kids.  But here's the thing.  While it's okay to complain, take care that you don't get stuck.  Be sure you achieve resolution.

Meditating on the "Present" also helps keep you from drifting, and so it's important.  But no matter how meditating on the "Present" you do, remember that you are focusing on things that are temporary and will constantly change.  While you will find peace and resolve, those too will pass.

Meditating on the "Presence" will bring about an eternal peace in your life.  There is a passage from the Gospel of John 8:32: "...and the truth [knowledge] shall make you free."  As you meditate on the "Presence," you will come to a deeper knowledge of who you are, and why you are here.  This knowledge is the truth that sets us free from being entangled in the results and reactions of all that is temporary.

Next week:  How to Meditate in the "Presence" and in the "Present."

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Practicing Meditation in the "Present" vs. the "Presence"

Scriptures of old, be they the Testaments, the Vedas, etc., tell us that meditation was really another form of prayer that allowed us to have union with The Source and our True Self/Higher Self (i.e., that part of us that is part and parcel of The Source of all).

So why would we want to link up . . . to have union . . . with The Source?

Have you ever experienced the joy of being around your beloved? Or experienced the deep love a parent has for a child? Or how about that feeling of comfort you get when you're in the company of your best friend; when it seems like the two of you are complete and no one else is needed.

Well, when one has that glimpse of union with The Source, the feelings described above are just a fraction of the intense feelings you experience when you are in union with God. Meditation helps distinguish between what is real (and more to the point, what is important) and what is not. Because, while all those feelings you have when with your beloved, your child, your friend(s), etc., are wonderful, they change (because we stop seeing them for who they really are) and eventually that other person (or you) is gone, the body expires.

I am not advocating that you live like a hermit to avoid experiencing those feelings. I am urging you to see them for what they are, i.e., reminders to you of a love that never ceases . . . the union with The Source.

What you are experiencing with others is like a reflection of the love between us and The Source. When you fall in love with someone, you are falling in love with The Source in that person. When you experience a deep friendship with a person, you are experiencing the deep friendship between you and The Source. The same thing applies to the love between you and your child; it's a reflection of the love between you and The Source.

So, what does all of this have to do with meditating in the Present and in the Presence?

Meditating in the Present is mediating on and with The Source. This brings about an eternal benefit: union with The Source.

Meditating on the Presence brings our focus to what's happening right now. The walking meditation I did while at the Buddhist retreat was tremendous. It really brought me into the moment and allowed me to experience everything it took to walk forward. I experienced my breathing, the very rhythm of my breath, while placing one foot in front of the other. I became aware of how my foot touched the ground and the follow-through required. I experienced awareness of all the muscles in my legs, buttocks and hips, as well as those in my upper body, that are required just for me to walk, one step at a time. My mind was not distracted with all the mental clutter that usually runs through my head. I was completely focused on the moment and all it took just to place one foot in front of the other.

After our walking meditation, we did the same thing while having lunch. It was a tremendous experience being completely present to eating my lunch. Tasting it, chewing each mouthful over 200 times (as instructed) before swallowing it. Feeling it move through and nourish my body.  I was so present. I had never experienced being in the now like that before. Later, I was able to practice this, to be fully present when in discussions with others, when walking in nature, when experiencing a celebration and in many other instances.

Being in the now is being aware of your body and your surroundings. This needs to be practiced. And it's important to remember that when meditating on the now, we are meditating on something temporary. So while it's important to stay Present, what's more essential is to be in the Presence. You are in the Presence when you are seeing everything around you as extensions of The Source.

And so you are able to enjoy your experience of the Present in the Presence.

Next week, I'll share why it's crucial to practice meditation on a daily basis.

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The Different Types of Meditation

There are many different types of meditation, and each utilizes a different method to accomplish different goals.  Following is an overview of some of them.

Contemplative Meditation

All religions employ contemplative meditation in some way or another. Christians, Jews and Hindus listen to prayers or chants for a while, then go into the silence. In the silence, you focus on the names of God, or a picture of the God of your understanding, or maybe you focus your attention on the secret chamber behind your heart.

Contemplative meditation has been scientifically proven to bring about peace, not only to the individuals, but to those surrounding them.

Buddhists have different forms of contemplative meditation, such as walking. While at a Buddhist retreat, I had the opportunity to experience "walking meditation." It focused on being aware of every step and all that it took to put one foot in front of the other. This was called being in the "Present."

Loving Kindness Meditation

"Loving Kindness" is an unconditional, inclusive love; a love with wisdom. It has no conditions. It does not depend on whether the object of the love and kindness "deserves" it or not. It typically starts with friends and family, but it goes much further. It stretches out from personal categories to include all living beings.

In this meditation, there are no expectations of anything in return. This is ideal, pure love, which potentially everyone has. We begin with loving ourselves, for unless we have this unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves, it is difficult to extend it to others. Then we include others who ar special to us and, ultimately, to all living things. Gradually, both the visualization and the meditation phrases blend into the actual experience...the feeling of loving kindness.

Shabbat/Sabbath

In the western religions such as Christianity and Judaism, there is a call for a day of rest and contemplation. It can include many rituals, such as beginning just before sundown on FRiday and ending at the end of the day on Sunday. While these traditions are active, they all do require a time of contemplation wherein you sit in silence and acknowledge your activities, how they might have been helpful or where you could have done more. An important component is being grateful for everything you have.

Yoga

The word "yoga" comes from the Sanskrit word "yuj," which means to bind or to yoke, thus bringing into union. Yoga is meant to bring the mind, body and spirit into union. Thousands of years ago, sages (holy men) would sit in certain postures, breathing in a variety of ways and chant mantras (prayers) to bring their individualized soul (Jivatma) into union with God (Paramatma).

Today, yoga is mostly about the process of stretching and strengthening, which can be done more effectively when you are breathing properly. When meditation is done at the end, it is mostly experiencing the "Present," not the "Presence."

And speaking of which, next week I'll be writing about the difference between meditating on the Present and meditating on the Presence.

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What is Meditation?

First you try to meditate and after a while you become meditative. --J. Kleykamp

I’m thinking that if you ask five people what meditation is, you’ll get at least three different answers.

The word meditation is derived from two Latin words:  meditari (to think, to dwell upon, to exercise the mind) and mederi (to heal).  Its Sanskrit derivation, medha, means wisdom.

Usually when I talk to someone about meditation, they respond by saying: “Yes, I meditate.  I meditate while I’m gardening or fishing.”  What they are really doing is dwelling on something.  I guess you can consider that mediation, according to the origins of the word.  While this brings them some sense of peace and joy and, maybe, fulfillment to some extent, it is still material.  It comes and it goes.

Meditation is painful in the beginning but it bestows immortal Bliss and supreme joy in the end. --Swami Sivananda

There is an old saying, “What you think about, you bring about.”  In other words, you might just manifest what you focus on.  So it’s not a bad thing to meditate and experience peace, joy and fulfillment, right?

There is also meditation where one brings themselves back into alignment with their true Self and The Divine.  This alignment brings about wisdom and healing that does not go away.  It is eternal.  In all the scriptures, whether eastern or western, this is more associated with the real meaning of meditation.

Practice meditation regularly. Meditation leads to eternal bliss. Therefore meditate, meditate. --Swami Sivananda

Breathing deeply in an upsetting moment will bring more oxygen to your brain and calm you down.  Some folks consider this meditation and it helps on some level, but it is temporary.  Focusing on joyful things and pleasant experiences during a hectic situation can be considered calming and meditative, but it is also temporary.  Likewise, repeating an affirmation can help restore your confidence, but, again, the result is temporary.

If I want something that will bring me a happiness that will not go away, a healing that will stay with me forever and a peace that will surround me even in troubled times, then I need to go beyond temporary.

Over the next few weeks, I plan to talk about spiritual meditations that are permanent, rather than temporary physical or metaphysical meditations. 

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Can We Be Spiritual If We Have Money?

I know some folks who believe that if they have too much money, it impedes their spirituality.  Or they believe that money is evil, and it attracts unwanted people and circumstances.

Or they recall this familiar saying that most of us have heard (or said) from time to time: "Money is the root of all evil."  Actually, that saying is a famously misquoted passage from the New Testament.  The correct quote reads: "The love of money is the root of all evil."  The speaker quoted is Jesus of Nazareth and the passage is from the Apostle Paul's First Epistle to Timothy.

Another misconception is that we have to renounce everything in order to be spiritual.  Believe me, there are many saints and sages walking among us in this world, standing in line at the checkout counter, riding the subway to work, playing with their children at the playground, walking in the park with their dogs, etc., and all of them have money and, indeed, need it to be a functioning part of society.  Does that make them less spiritual than those who sit in monasteries, ashrams or other secluded places without possessions?  Absolutely not!

The ideal situation is to create a balance wherein we enjoy all that we have, including money, without being overshadowed by it.  It is okay for us to be upset when we lose part of our retirement nest egg because of the stock market, if our new car is stolen or wrecked, if we lose our job, if we lose a loved one, if the Mets lose...again, etc.  But we have our feelings, move through them and know that it's who we are, not what we are or what we have, that is what's really important.  Because when we know and understand who we are, we'll know that all of this is just part of the experience/journey on our path home...which is our real destination.

Is money spiritual?  No.  Can we be spiritual if we have money, even lots of it?  Yes!  So have fun, enjoy life, make the most of it and remember who you really are: a child of God or Pure Spirit, witnessing all of this as spirit, or Part and Parcel of God.  You're just passing through; this is not the destination.

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Is Money Spiritual?

Last week, I said that anything material or anything that comes from a material outcome is not spirituality.  And I stand by that statement.  But can we use these things to help our spirituality?  I would respond with a resounding yes!

For example, money allows us to purchase things and services.  Depending on the amount of money we have, some of us are able to do and acquire more because we have more money.  Money might enable us to have lots of “toys” (i.e., material things).  If we can use these toys to help us see Spirit/God because of them, then the toys can rightly be called “tools” to help you along your path.

But if we become engrossed and attached and overshadowed by these toys, they certainly are not reminding us of Spirit/God, are they?  If fact, they may become so painful that we pull away, maybe even from Spirit/God Herself!

There were times in my life when I was more fascinated by the toys, then the toy maker.  This ultimately caused me some type of pain: “Oh I wish I had that,” or if I was able to purchase it I wanted it to last forever and, of course, it didn’t.

And there is one other strong connection between money and spirituality.  On all of our currency, it says “In God we Trust.”  Does that make the currency spiritual, in and of itself?  No.  Does it help me remember Spirit/God?  Once again, I offer a resounding yes!  Whenever I see currency, even a penny, I pick it up and say…In God I Trust.

Next week:  Can we be spiritual if we have money?

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Distinguishing between What is Spiritual and What is Not

I know this one is going to kick up some stuff for some of you.  Frankly, I hope it does, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Spirituality is inclusive of religion.  It means knowing of our Self, our Essence and our Source, and it refers to our relationship with our Source, whomever or whatever you call the Source: Allah, Buddha, Krishna, Yahweh, Yesuah, etc.  It includes the paths to God that have been established over time called religion.  I suspect that religion itself will kick up stuff for some of you, but don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!  From all religions have come many self-realized souls and saints who have changed the world into a better place.  Try not to be “overshadowed” by your feelings from the past.

Anything that has to do with a material outcome is not spiritual.  For example, helping people by feeding them, giving them comfort from a hurricane, donating large sums of money, making their lives (i.e., their bodies) more comfortable and less painful is wonderful.  But none of that is spiritual.  It’s called humanitarianism.

Focusing and setting intentions for a better way of life is great, and it is called metaphysics.  Personal development is another fantastic thing to do for yourself; that’s why it’s called self improvement.  Communication with the “spirit” world, channeling and the paranormal is still working within creation.  It’s a level most people don’t see, but it’s just another level of creation.

True spirituality is transcendental.  It’s beyond creation and concerns itself with Source (Higher Power, God, etc.), rather than creation.  True spirituality will directly enhance your relationship with your higher Self and the God of your understanding.

All the avatars and teachers taught on three levels:

1.    Social (Love one another)

2.    Spiritual (Be in this world, not of this world)

3.    Mystical (There is only  One)

So it is important that we each help others (social), create the best we can for our family (metaphysical), avoid becoming overshadowed by the outcome (spiritual) and remember that there is only One, and that one is God and we are part of that Source (mystical).

Next week:  the relationship between money and spirituality.

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The Business of Life

In my September newsletter, I talked about everything being temporary and the journey from our head to our heart, the soul.

It’s the temporary part of life that can bum some of us out.  Some might say “If everything is temporary, what the heck!”

Life is full of things we enjoy and things we don’t.

The goal is to not be overshadowed by any of them.  What I mean is not to be attached so much that it takes away from you.  Yes, we lose people and things change and we have feelings about that.  The goal is to have our feelings, process them, let it go and take something from that experience that will bring us closer to self realization.

People, things and events are put into our lives so that we can learn from them and/or enjoy them.  Becoming attached to them will cause us pain.  Being overshadowed by them will exact an even higher price.

You can see the world as a beautiful and fulfilling experience or you can see it as a place of trials and tribulations.  The choice is yours.  There is no right or wrong.  It’s what we do with our experience that is important.  Does it bring you to a place of understanding more of your higher self?  Or does it take you to a place of attachment and pain?

So your realization that it’s all temporary is, in itself, part of the journey to your heart/ soul.

Next week: distinguishing between what is spiritual and what is not.

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